This is somewhat “random”, but please excuse me while I vent. It’s raining hard outside, hubby’s not home yet and here I am in my room reflecting about what’s going on in my life lately.
Cue in Alanis Morisette’s You Learn
Two years ago, a few people [indirectly] told me that if edible makeups were invented, they would feed it to me. I don’t care how you’d interpret that, but it was delivered with the intention to ridicule me. Apparently, to them I was a b*tch obsessed with makeup. It hit a chord, to be honest. And at that time, I was ready to shut down this blog and hide in my closet. But then, doors opened up to make me realize that their words aren’t enough to shake me.
I chose to rise above the circumstance because after all, words are just words until you let them affect you. I pushed myself and thought about why I write about beauty in the first place. I continued sharing the things that make me look good and feel good. I came to a point where I was obsessed, like my day wasn’t complete if I couldn’t blog. Nevermind if it’s just about a cheap nail polish I bought out of sheer boredom. I just need to sit down, write away, and get over the urge to blog.
And then life happened…
I got married and my priorities aren’t just the same anymore. Not that I regret settling down. God, no! I married a wonderful man and that I will forever be thankful for. But you know, juggling a day job and household chores (without a helper) gets the better of me. And to think, I don’t even have a child yet. Hands down to all the super moms out there who do everything with grace and serenity.
I can’t tell you about my boring daily routine, but know this – sometimes, I find myself lying down and staring at the ceiling thinking about absolutely nothing. Other times, I find myself blabbering to my husband and nagging him about the tiniest of things – “Put your dirty clothes in the hamper”, “put the toiletries back to the rack after using them”, “wash the glass after drinking” etc..etc. I feel like a psychob*tch sometimes, but I know it’s the exhaustion poisoning my mind and pushing me to say those things.
This blog has suffered a good amount of negligence these past few months. I think I even mentioned in one of my recent posts that I want to quit-yet again. But you know what? Every time I think about saying goodbye to the blogosphere, opportunities would come knocking in. It humbles me whenever brands reach out to me and offer their generosity.
Maybe it’s the universe telling me that this blog has a purpose. That perhaps, I do make some actual sense from all the kaartehan (as what some people would call it) I’ve been posting. Maybe, just maybe, someone out there found some value in this blog and helped her see the beauty in everything. I don’t know, I may just be assuming things, but that’s what I want to believe.
There! Feels good to finally get rid of this lump in my throat. I know I went a little too dramatic, but this is me saying, I am sort of back. I hope I could find inspiration from all of you who follow this blog and believe that I deserve a spot in your list.